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An excerpt from the book 'James and the Giant Peach' by 'Roald Dahl'. (The book was actually written for children but whatever!)
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‘My dear young fellow,’ the Old-Green-Grasshopper said gently, ‘there are a whole lot of things in this world of ours that you haven’t started wondering about yet. Where, for example, do you think I keep my ears?’

‘Your ears? Why , in your head, of course.’

Everyone burst out laughing.

‘You mean you don’t even know THAT?’ cried the Centipede.

‘Try again,’ said the Old-Green-Grasshopper, smiling at James.

‘You can’t possibly keep them anywhere else?’

‘Oh can’t I?’

‘Well – I give up. Where do you keep them?’

‘Right here,’ the Old-Green-Grasshopper said. ‘One on each side of my tummy.’

‘It’s not true!’

‘Of course it’s true. What’s so peculiar about that? You ought to see where my cousins the Crickets and the Katydids keep theirs.’

‘Where do they keep them?’

‘In their legs. One in each front leg, just below the knee.’

‘You mean you didn’t know that either?’ the centipede said scornfully.

‘You’re joking,’ James said. ‘Nobody could possibly have his ears in his legs.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because …because it’s ridiculous, that’s why.’

‘You know what I think is ridiculous?’ the centipede said, grinning away as usual. ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but I think it is ridiculous to have ears on the sides of one’s head. It certainly looks ridiculous. You ought to take a peek in the mirror some day and see for yourself.’

‘Pest!’ cried the Earthworm. ‘Why must you always be so rude and rambunctious to everyone? You ought to apologize to James at once.’

A lesson learnt 1

One of favorite bloggers wrote

"Whatever happened, happened because it could have happened no other way."

I want to agree with it but i can't and i won't. Maybe tomorrow i will but today i have that urge to kill anyone who tells me that things happen the way they are meant to happen.

I had spent so many funny moments with F. She never became my friend though or maybe she was. But she was a good companion. We would sit together in all chemistry classes and disturb the class as much as we can. Good times. I liked her even more when she insisted on sitting near me during exams for the moral support that i provided her. There was no joke that we had not cracked. From making fun of my accent to telling her that her clothes had "natural ventilation." From copying down all my lab reports before exam to sharing photos, we enjoyed everything, like two people almost in love. The sad part was that the time when we separated and took our own paths in Government College University started today my friends.

F being a chemistry major student and I being a biotechnology buffoon.

Today was supposed to be our last day as class fellows, not as good acquaintances, but it somehow became one. F sat right next to me like we always did in exams.

F: performance saath saath kerain gai ..PCR machne use kerni aati hai?

Me: haan ati hai, mager sahi se ni.

(Teacher: her koi PCR machine use kerna seekh le abi sab se demonstration ho gi. Everyone gathers around the PCR machine. I and my friend Z stand behind. F is busy talking to the girl who's working the PCR machine. Z and I go sit on a nearby stools with some other class fellows. F is still busy with the PCR.)

Me: (to Z) oye ye F tau gayee. hum se behter mil gaya koi is ko.

Z: ha ha.

Me: Oye F ho group mai k ni?

F: {no response}

Me: F..FF..bas ji ab tau kerna hi ni app ne humray saath kam ap ne..hum se......

F: Amna bas bohot over ho gayee ho tum. Ab mai ne aur baat ni sun-ni.

ME: {There are no words to describe the face that i wore at that moment}

THE END

A lesson learnt at the last day of my life with F..which could have been pleasant..because it was going to be our last day together in college any way. Did she really have to show that she didn't need me anymore? i kind of already knew that. I knew my moral support had always been in forms of "small booti" and even as my written sheet of exam but there could've been a better way to do it. Probably wait for the day to end because that would mean entirely different departments from then on.

I've always cursed Government College University for their "No-allied-subject-in-final-year" policy. It may sounds abnormal but it made me lose my favorite subject. who knew this would teach me the greatest lesson of my life. Homo Sapiens are fat-ass morons no matter what! Yes. Simple as that!

{THIS IS THE MOST PATHETIC BLOG THAT I'VE EVER WRITTEN BUT I HAD TO WRITE IT!}

Collections

My collection of Pakistani coins.
(L to R in each row)
> 5 Rs Coin 2005, 1 Rupee coin (issued on the 100th birthday of Allama. M. Iqbal) 1977, 1 Rupee coin (Islamic Summit conference) 1974, 1 rupee coin (Al Hajj, 4th meeting of Muslim World League, 7th to 17th Rab al Thani, 1401 Hijri) 1981.

> 50 Paisa Coin 1976, 50 Paisa Coin 1986, 50 Paisa Coin (100th Birthday of Quaid M.A. Jinnah) 1976.

> 10 Paisa Coin 1987, 10 Paisa Coin 1980, 10 Paisa Coin 1971.

> 25 Paisa Coin 1979, 25 Paisa Coin 1987, 25 Paisa Coin 1963.

> 5 Paisa Coin 1990.

> 2 Paisa Coin 1968.

> 2 Anna Coin 1958.

> 1 Anna Coin 1948.

For further information on these coins and others coins from Pakistan visit http://www.chiefacoins.com/Database/Countries/Agha_Muhammad_Yahya_Khan_Qizilbash.htm

The mop is coming..mop mop mop.

My "current" favorite song says

I should have left my phone at home
cause this is a disaster
calling like a collector
sorry i cannot answer

It's not only the telephone. Life is a big fat telephone and the people around you are the ringing tantrums. rr-rr-ing...rr-rr-in-g. They wont stop no matter how hard you try to shut them up. Switch off your phone, and they'll leave a message.

My life has always been like this. All thanks goes to my parents who have been staunch members of the genre of people that prefer to shed their own blood instead of sucking on somebody-they-should-not-be-concerned-with's blood. Fortunately i have the guts to talk my guts out against this life style but i am absolutely gut-less when it comes to following my own cynical advice. All i know is that they've been destroyed because of the people around them leaving us to suffer the consequences.

In the one and twenty completely hopeless years of my life i have been the weirdest person i have ever met because i have never been able to understand myself. There have been times when i was so sick of my own self that i would cover up all the mirrors in my room and bathroom just to avoid looking at my own face. But i would very composedly get out of bed, wash my flat face, go to the college and put up a perfect straight face, not meeting anyone all day and say, "oh yeah I've had a rough day..chemistry you know."
or the alternative;
"had to leave early dad was calling."

They always work.

But till now i have not been able to devise a way to completely pull myself out of the pudding of people around me. Alone I'd be sticky mass, and sooner or later someone will clean me up with a mop off the kitchen table.
So what happens?

I keep making future plans and i know some of them are in my hands and i can steer them the way i want to but what about the one's that make God laugh?! I can hear him laugh right now too, because he knows what I'm thinking.

The point is

Not that i don't like you, I'm just at a party
And I am sick and tired of my phone rr-ringing

It's my party and i want to be the sole dancer in it, the sole DJ, the sole waiter, the sole guard, the sole host and the sole guest.

Zainab Khalid and I ("third" likes "me" better)

I never knew that she existed. When i was introduced to her by a girl I knew from university, only then did I come to know that she was one of my class mates too. I still wasn't interested. Weird one she was, or maybe I was the non-social one. I have always been one of the types that make friends not so easily but break up with them VERY easily. But let's not talk about me here. This blog is especially for Zainab Khalid.

Once she became one of the people that I did talk to in the University, (because of the "third" girl; for whom i would be writing a blog very soon..so no names) there were many things that i definitely did not know about myself but she did, which was funny, but it made me get still more not-interested in her somehow. There were voices telling me that we cannot be friends and probably there were voices around her whispering to her from the past that I was a freak.

Well many weeks passed and I still didn't like her, NOT that I DISLIKED her. But talking to her was good. It somehow became enjoyable listening to her constant blabbering about some issue which i would be totally ignorant about. Yes an ignoramus I was, ignoramus I am. I listened to what she said and the "talks" were "talked about" again between me and..Well..a person I thought I could be friends with. Bad times..here they can be called DESPERATE times.

So both of us moved on.

I talked to her..gossiped about her...sometimes defended her. Most of the times i remained neutral about her. There came a time when our lives were in a state where a microbiologist would refer to them as two bacteria trying to conjugate through pili..but of course that was our lives and not us. We were in the same group of friends but she never became important as she should have been as a friend until I was forced to know her. Sometimes it happens that when you talk about someone too much-for or against-you somehow develop an urge to know them more. It's your greed to prove to someone else that they're wrong about the particular person under consideration or simply you covet to show the veracity of your view of the human that you met.

I started realizing that she was not just another person in my life long after the actual "incident" had happened. She had already taken over the position of the one person that would be there to lecture me about other people and how relationships should be dealt with. It were the circumstances going on then that made her talk to me about such things. It was good talk always. I shouted in front of her and other members of the group (One, two and three..they will have their blogs :P) and all of them would try to calm me down. I knew she would disagree with me on most of the things that i said but she never really said that openly. I liked that about her. She would still annoy me at times saying things that i would be denying all the time and she just blurted them out.

--CLIMAX--

And then she went through the same and DUDE..that was when the MORON actually got what it was all about. THEN did the bonding really start. We gossiped about a bitch. We talked about a bitch. we called a BITCH a BITCH and only THEN did we become true SOUL MATES!!

hahahahahahahahahah!..:P :P :P :P :P :P :P

True Story..:P :P..is se ziada chuss ni maari jati meray se..:P

The story does not end here to know more details about this girl...and let me tell you...this would now include "LOUVE" WITH A MAN OF BOOKS too..to get more of this not-hot-ness please comment..:P

When I find nice poetry..I share it.

Mi gir gaya..

her Arooj ko zawaal hota hai.

So correct.

Hota hai aur bohot ziada hota hai. Jitna ooncha urroo gai utni hi gravitational potential energy bherti jaye gi aur phir utni hi tezi se neechay giro gai.

:S